Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Five Times Better Use of the Dictionary
News That Will Warm the Cockles of Your Heart
I have heard from a trustworthy source that Cakey the Jacked-Up Clown and Jorge Carlito Viejo have had an actual conversation together. I know there has been much angst and grief over their separation. Many news articles have been written fretting about the fate of their friendship. And an internet rumor was going around a couple of weeks ago that said Cakey ran over Jorge with his ATV and crushed both of his legs, an arm, three ribs, his head, his ears, and his pet mini-horse, Chaunclington. As it turns out, this rumor was actually about George Takei running over William Shatner's pet poodle, Billiam Shotner, but the poodle survived because George was driving a Hello Kitty big wheel.
Anywho, I have just obtained--and when I say "just obtained," I mean, seconds ago--security camera footage from the local Tesco purporting to show Cakey and Jorge, on a chance encounter, having an actual conversations sans bloodshed. See for yourself.
Monday, May 18, 2009
The Final Chapter?
I was perusing the site and came across Nuffy's post from two Tuesdays ago. Cakey's pleas were probably the most poignant I've ever heard in a video that included a fart noise. I'd say that it moved me, but more accurately it moved Cakey. He must've risen a full 4 inches out of his seat.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Erin Go Bragh! In Person
The Fandos are going on holiday to Ireland.
Feel free to read that back a few times to let it settle in your head. I know I have.
I intend to post on the details soon but the most amazing part of the process is researching and booking the trip. The Internet listings and prices change positions faster than the Obama Administration, often as you're checking flights. The phone agents are polite but I got disconnected twice before even reaching them. It's that moment of anticipation followed by the disconnection sound on the cell phone that's so heartbreaking.
Nonetheless, it's done. We'll be staying right next to a Manor house (or castle, as some are wont to put it). There's an excellent golf course on the grounds. It's so excellent it's hosting the Irish Open this year (again) and is thus beyond the ole' budget, unless I resort to some midnight gonzo golf. Where did I put those night-vision goggles?
A castle, pubs, Guinness, an economy rental car, bangers, champ, colcannon, Irish bacon, a long transatlantic flight with a change-over at JFK, and a picaresque village next door. Perfect.
And of course, I intend to post from Eire. Maybe. If I get the chance. I'll give it a shot. Promise.
That St. Patrick's Day post is starting to feel quite real...