The Best of DOUI for 2008

What was that about "annus mirabilis?" 2008 for us was more like an "anus mendiosus." Posts were scarce and posters scarcer. Life gets busy sometimes, but on occasion I found myself ringing area monasteries to see if any of our staff had turned up there.

Nonetheless, there were some scattershot highlights worth reliving through the pathetically transparent veneer of an annual retrospective post. If you can look past the bitterness and self-pity, you might just find something to take home and love.

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The Top 10

• Yoicks, and a Degree! - Nottingham University takes specialised studies to the next level... the trees. Bring your quarterstaff!
  
• This Academy Spells Quality, "O-S-C-A-R" - The annual review of the Oscar Best Picture nominees, Vaught Corsair included.
  
• Comedian Disclaimers - Comedy in a very broad nutshell. It's really quite harder than it sounds.
  
• Will There Really Be Blood? That's the Question. - Nuffy takes in the Oscar-nominated film and quickly gets to the gory core of things.
  
• You Think I Give a Dang About A Grammy? - You see, Nuffy is into the alternative music.
  
• Oh, What You've Missed because of The Strike! - Earl catches people up on their favourite US programmes.
  
• Can You Hear Those Brussels Sprouts Screaming? - We can. It sounds like Slim Whitman.
  
• Dora Goes Postal - Who knew Dora the Explorer was handy with a Glock?
  
• Laura Ingalls Goes Blue? - Finland gives Little House on the Prairie an "R" rating? We must have slept through those parts of the series.
  
• The Day the Earth Was Killed - Keanu Reeves' can't really be blamed for this mess, but it's fun to try. X

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The Best of the Rest

• The Chipmunks, Now and Then - Dave Seville's hypervoiced creations have certainly changed over the years. Of course, I've always suspected Alvin swore like a footballer.
  
• Latest US Campaign Threads - What would a retrospective be without some politics to spice things up and dumb things down? Some follow-ups to this post are here.
  
• Blame it on Bessie - Cows, global warming, and more flatulence jokes than a Nickelodeon-produced television series.
  
• Fear of What? - Definitions of not so common phobias and proof that every once in awhile we live up to the "dictionary" part of our name.
  
• Watch Out for Friendly Liars - Nuffy and I are still in litigation about this one. I haven't worn a fez in nearly two years.
  
• News from the GRAFTAs! - If my idea for combining awards programmes takes off, I expect full credit and royalties. The same goes for the sellotape garments.
  
• Great Forgotten Bands - Great for a reason... forgotten for several reasons.
  
• Oscar's Craptacular Night - A Preview - Predicting the big Oscar show. It's not as hard as it looks.
  
• Bigfoot on Vacation - The big guy is much more connected than even I realised.
  
• Can't Get Enough Sasquatch? - We certainly can't, that's for certain. Stew follows up with His Hairyness.
  
• Jobs You Didn't Know You Didn't Want - Earl didn't know he didn't want them until he wrote the article. Now he's positively sure he didn't know he doesn't want them... or something like that.
  
• Hillary and Obama and Sometimes McCain - A big meaty slice of the US election.
  
• Think Ingrid Bergman with a traffic cone bra - Madonna wants to remake Casablanca. In related news, Carrot-top is releasing a cover of Like a Virgin.
  
• Suicide by Chuck - "Rule number one of fight club is 'never threaten Chuck Norris.'"
  
• An Olympian Gesture - A primer on ticking off the Chinese government during the Beijing Olympics. If only Michael Phelps had tried number 10.
  
• News Briefs - Like The Onion, only much smaller.
  
• Plutoid This! - Where would astronomical humour be without The International Astronomical Union?
  
• Are Those Icicles, or Are You Just Glad to See Me? - Streaking in Iceland, or the Idiots Guide to Naughty Bits Removal.
  
• Office 2007 Sucks - Every "best of" blogging list should include a good rant, or even a moderately insipid one, like this.
  
• Beijing's Behemoth Bash - A wrap-up of the Beijing Olympics. By wrap-up, we mean a last chance to make snotty jokes at their expense.
  
• Obamacon! - Coverage of the Democratic Convention that you won't get on CNN, Fox, MSNBC, or the Sci-Fi Channel for that matter.
  
• Pip Clowson for President - He didn't get far, but he won the hearts of everyone who voted for him.
  
• Politics Ain't Just for Stiffs 'N Creeps - And we're all thankful for that, right? We just wish some of the non-stiffs and creeps would get involved.
  
• McCainathon! - The Republicans get a turn at conventioneering. Was this even on television?
  
• The State of US Election - Elections are crazy, mad, barmy things with tentacles and large mandibles that can crush cars like pistachios.
  
• Signing Up for the Obamastration - Questions you didn't know were on the form
  
• Applying for the Obamastration - Earl tries out the form. They haven't called back yet.
  
• Winning the Black Friday Battle - Beating the masses, literally in some cases.
  
• I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in awhile - The Duggars add child number 18 to the family.
  
  

Happy New Year!

A very Happy New Year to all
from The Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas!!!!

For those of you with hangovers:

Happy New Year!

Resolutely Into the New Year

Well, it's been a bloody awful year blogging-wise. Stew posted a grand total of one time, I think, and that was just by accident as he thought he was sending in his taxes electronically. Nuffy posted a few times, but many of those were just political shilling for Pip Clowson (Did he win? I didn't follow the election that closely.) I wasn't much better myself. The annual "Best of DOUI" post will be thinner than usually.

However, it's a new year and a new opportunity to begin anew with new posts and a new attitude and a commitment to really overusing the word new. As is traditional around here, some resolutions for the new year follow. For those of you playing along at home, score yourself based on how many of these you spot that we break before January 7th.

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Earl Fando's New Year's Resolutions for 2009

• Post more often and get the whole crew to post more often as well. Encourage them, praise them, offer gentle words of support, and then badger and humiliate them if they falter, just like the professional, paid editors do.
  
  
• Give up smoking. (Oh, sorry... that's from President Obama's New Year's Resolutions list. I've never so much as lit up. I have this cough, you see, and...)
  
  
• Learn the rules to jai alai. If one is to mock something, one should at least understand it somewhat... a little... I may glance through the Wikipedia entry... the heading at least.
  
  
• Eat more marmite.
  
  
• Play at least one game of Risk, just to show I can still roll a mean dice.
  
  
• Get fitter. The Fandos have gotten a Wii Fit this year and I will try to get the most out of the silly thing as I can before the next debilitating back injury.
  
  
• Mock Wii Fit every step of the way... Turnabout is fair play after all. The thing mocks me every time I step on it.
  
  
• Get the new blog template up and all the changes that go with it, instead of merely alluding to it every 4 months*
  
  
• Try not to go mental every time Arsenal don't take three points. I mean, it's only a game right; even if they can't manage a &^%$ing goal against &%$#ing Stoke City. What in %$#& happened to the %$#&ing defence??? $%#&!!!! Right... I'll work on that.
  
  
• Actually play the edition of Football Manager on my PC, instead of just staring at it the way a hungry raccoon eyes a wastebin.
  
  
• More prank phone calls to celebrities and politicians... I still haven't tried out my Joe Biden impersonation on Barbara Streisand. "What's that Mr. Vice-President? You think James [Brolin] looks like a fat zombie? Well (passage deleted) and your mother!" Oh, how she'll chuckle when she realises it's not the Veep. Not that I'll tell her.
  
  
• Use more footnotes**
  
  
• Get active on Facebook. Who doesn't have time for yet one more scarcely-visited web site?
  
  
• Learn to play the bagpipes in a variety of creative ways***
  
  
• Finally play Oliver in As You Like It
  
  
• Learn to speak Japanese so I can tell what the presenters are really saying in Ninja Warrior (or Sasuke). I suspect it's much more colourful. ("Sa!!!!")
  
  
• Get a style guide for THE blog.
  
  
• Finish my paint by numbers canvas of Guernica.
  
  
• Try to actually enjoy Dick Clark's Rockin New Year's Eve, despite the fact the studio portions were obviously filmed in July.
  
  
• Make next year's resolutions list much funnier.
  

* As in now, for instance.
** As if that will help.
*** Get your minds out of the gutter people, I was referring to salsa music.