It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The Best of DOUI for 2008

What was that about "annus mirabilis?" 2008 for us was more like an "anus mendiosus." Posts were scarce and posters scarcer. Life gets busy sometimes, but on occasion I found myself ringing area monasteries to see if any of our staff had turned up there.

Nonetheless, there were some scattershot highlights worth reliving through the pathetically transparent veneer of an annual retrospective post. If you can look past the bitterness and self-pity, you might just find something to take home and love.

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The Top 10


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The Best of the Rest

Happy New Year!


A very Happy New Year to all
from The Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas!!!!


For those of you with hangovers:

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Resolutely Into the New Year

Well, it's been a bloody awful year blogging-wise. Stew posted a grand total of one time, I think, and that was just by accident as he thought he was sending in his taxes electronically. Nuffy posted a few times, but many of those were just political shilling for Pip Clowson (Did he win? I didn't follow the election that closely.) I wasn't much better myself. The annual "Best of DOUI" post will be thinner than usually.

However, it's a new year and a new opportunity to begin anew with new posts and a new attitude and a commitment to really overusing the word new. As is traditional around here, some resolutions for the new year follow. For those of you playing along at home, score yourself based on how many of these you spot that we break before January 7th.

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Earl Fando's New Year's Resolutions for 2009

  • Post more often and get the whole crew to post more often as well. Encourage them, praise them, offer gentle words of support, and then badger and humiliate them if they falter, just like the professional, paid editors do.

  • Give up smoking. (Oh, sorry... that's from President Obama's New Year's Resolutions list. I've never so much as lit up. I have this cough, you see, and...)

  • Learn the rules to jai alai. If one is to mock something, one should at least understand it somewhat... a little... I may glance through the Wikipedia entry... the heading at least.

  • Eat more marmite.

  • Play at least one game of Risk, just to show I can still roll a mean dice.

  • Get fitter. The Fandos have gotten a Wii Fit this year and I will try to get the most out of the silly thing as I can before the next debilitating back injury.

  • Mock Wii Fit every step of the way... Turnabout is fair play after all. The thing mocks me every time I step on it.

  • Get the new blog template up and all the changes that go with it, instead of merely alluding to it every 4 months*

  • Try not to go mental every time Arsenal don't take three points. I mean, it's only a game right; even if they can't manage a &^%$ing goal against &%$#ing Stoke City. What in %$#& happened to the %$#&ing defence??? $%#&!!!! Right... I'll work on that.

  • Actually play the edition of Football Manager on my PC, instead of just staring at it the way a hungry raccoon eyes a wastebin.

  • More prank phone calls to celebrities and politicians... I still haven't tried out my Joe Biden impersonation on Barbara Streisand. "What's that Mr. Vice-President? You think James [Brolin] looks like a fat zombie? Well (passage deleted) and your mother!" Oh, how she'll chuckle when she realises it's not the Veep. Not that I'll tell her.

  • Use more footnotes**

  • Get active on Facebook. Who doesn't have time for yet one more scarcely-visited web site?

  • Learn to play the bagpipes in a variety of creative ways***

  • Finally play Oliver in As You Like It

  • Learn to speak Japanese so I can tell what the presenters are really saying in Ninja Warrior (or Sasuke). I suspect it's much more colourful. ("Sa!!!!")

  • Get a style guide for THE blog.

  • Finish my paint by numbers canvas of Guernica.

  • Try to actually enjoy Dick Clark's Rockin New Year's Eve, despite the fact the studio portions were obviously filmed in July.

  • Make next year's resolutions list much funnier.
* As in now, for instance.
** As if that will help.
*** Get your minds out of the gutter people, I was referring to salsa music.

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