Missin' Cakey

I know people get down in the dumps when they haven't had a nice Cakey the Jacked-Up Clown cartoon in a while. I understand that. Life without a troubled man-clown is hardly worth living. And while it's true that Cakey has his own Twitter account at http://twitter.com/cakeyclown it's just not quite the same as seeing him verbally spar with an ethnically vague gentleman, as he does in his animated adventures.

So here is another Cakey and Jorge cartoon. I hope you choose to love it, take it into your corn heart and absorb every tender moment.
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Best American Cartoons of 2009

When Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks created Mickey Mouse in 1928 (or whatever year it was) they set wheels in motion that led directly to me. Over the last year or so, I have created cartoons that have helped heal America, almost helped elect Pip Clowson president (may he rest in peace), and united disparate groups like dorks and nerds. Well, then my animation software had to go and change the game! "Changing the Game" is LenoChin tactic number one, let me tell you.

Well, Earl Fando Excremando is pestering me to fix this and fix that. Look, I don't have time to fix things. My pants will fall off if I do that! And, look, I tried. I went back and tried to edit posts, but emotions boiled up and I fainted. So, let me take the easy way out and here before your luscious eyes give you every cartoon I ever created, starring America's sweetheart, Cakey the Jacked-Up Clown, also starring Pip Clowson, some dude named Jorge, and a whole cavalcade of Lawrence Welk-style attractions! Hurray for me!


<(CARTOONS CENSORED BY THE AMERICAN BOARD OF EDUCATIONAL CENSORS)>

The Best of DOUI for 2009

It's that time of year again! It's time to start collecting reciepts and tax information in preparation for the arduous tax forms you'll be finishing three months from now. In the meantime though, why not check out the Best of our 2009 posts as chosen by the Nobel Peace Prize Committee!*

(Apologies as some of the videos are not working. Nuffy's on it.)

**********

The Top 12**

• Besting Loose at the Oscars - The annual review of Oscar Best Picture nominees, including a delightful appearance by the Vaught Corsair.
  
• Where, What, When, How? - An actual Stew Miller post! Stew explains his lengthy absence.
  
• Best April Fools' Day Pranks - People are still shaking their heads about these.
  
• Jorge and Cakey, together again forever - Jorge Carlito Viejo and Cakey the Clown, arguing like an old married couple, if the couple were comprised of an urbane television producer and a disgruntled, especially frightening clown.
  
• I Hope Your Heart is Gentled - Yes it is, if by "gentled" you mean haunted with deeply troubled dreams of clowns.
  
• Excremando and George Takei, the True Hollywood Story - It's not what you think, thank heavens, with all due respect to Mr. Takei.
  
• Holiday Snaps! - Pictures from the Fando's holiday in Ireland and some amazing discoveries. Also, Earl's brush with a 600-foot cliff.
  
• MMMMMM...Liquid Sugar - Donuts. Magical, mysterious donuts!
  
• Regarding Street Performances - Earl tied a guy up in a straightjacket in Boston. No, it wasn't Stew or Nuffy.
  
• AMA = American Mental Awareness - Some guy named Stew Miller checks out the American Music Awards. Miller... hmmm... sounds familiar.
  
• Vim, Vigor, Vitality, Voom! - Earl describes his fitness efforts. Remember to dress when getting the morning paper.
  
• My Friends, We Are All Interested in the Future... - Time travel, science, birds, and a baguette. That's just what the scientists have come up with.

**********
The Best of the Rest

• Lunchtime Capsules - No, we're not referring to the Jetsons midday meal. Rather, these are a few passing notes and bits from the mid-day hour last January.
  
• Okay, So the Speeches Weren't Golden - However, in today's economy, this kind of tin-plated rhetoric is worth a lot more than you'd think.


• Surprises at the Big Obama Bash - We knew it was a big party but good grief.
  
• A Big, Big Year in Films? - Speaking of big, big, big! OK, so it wasn't that big. Still, it was wacked, and for us that made it special.
  
• MMMMM!!! Poached kittens!! - Or so it would be if PETA's little publicity campaign had done its dread work. (We're exaggerating just a little for effect here, so play along.)


• Putting a Full Nelson on Bacon - Some helpful advice for Michael J. Nelson of MST3K and Rifftrax fame and his heroic "month o' bacon" diet, which we plan to try as soon as we can wean ourselves off of pork chops and prime rib.
  
• What's that buzzing about in Bill's brain? - Mosquitoes, surprisingly enough. And people wonder why Windows is always full of bugs.
  
• Crawling Back to Fitness - The beginning of Earl's fitness journey (35 pounds ago).


• Blogging, blogging, BLOGGING!! - Technically, Stew's post should have been titled, "Brownies, brownies, BROWNIES!!"


• Salt: Is There Anything It Can't Do? - Earl loves salt the way Homer Simpson loves donuts.


• Minnnniiiissstteeeerrr!!!!! - William Shatner as Prime Minister of Canada. Who says Christmas presents only come once a year?
  
• Post-St. Patrick's Day News Capsules - For those of you who woke up a week later.
  
• Nuffy Returns to Love You - Nuffy eulogises the late, great presidential candidate Pip Clowson, who is still rolling over in his grave.
  
• Nuffy Presents: A Cartoon - It's not exactly Warner Brothers or Disney.
  
• Cartoons Will Heal America - More animation brilliance from Nuffy. It's heartbreakingly moving, if you like this sort of thing.
  
• Pip's Cartoon Calvalcade - Yet another cartoon. Imagine the odds of that.
  
• The Story So Far - A cartoon analyzing the likely outcomes of a Jorge Carlito Viejo vs. Cakey Clown battle royale. Heavy violence predicted.
  
• Cakey and Jorge, the Final Chapter - It's not, of course.
  
• Yes, It WAS the Last Chapter - No, no, it wasn't. Really. Who are you going to believe?
  
• Twittering Away about Crappy Pub Names - There's an old tradition of odd, peculiar names for pubs. With a name like Earl's, this was a natural interest for him.
  
• On the Contrary, Nuffulupagus - More banter about Star Trek videos, George Takei, and Sesame Street. One of these things is not like the others.
  
• Jorge's Cake Hole - Legal trouble for Jorge and Cakey. Let's hope the Irish Garda go easy. Cakey's a handful when cornered.
  
• Poetry and Truthiness - A rhyme and a little of your time. That's all Nuffy asks. Kind viewer, grant him his wish.
  
• The Next Big Trending Twitter Topic - These never did catch on for some odd reason.
  
• Twitter is the Worst - Nuffy's skeptical of the 140 word virtual gabfest.
  
• Darby O'Earl and the Little People - Earl looks ahead to the Fando's trip to Ireland.
  
• Footy Notes - World football. Pretty deranged stuff, quite frankly. Someone should have a chat with Sepp Blatter.
  
• The Last Hey-O into the Sunset - Ed MaMahon, R.I.P.
  
• The Mother of All Memorial Services - Michael Jackson, R.I.P. Who can believe the way he went out?
  
• Trending Cowboys - Yes, we know it sounds like an Andy Warhol movie. It's not. Really.
  
• Matt Damon, Man of a Thousand Activities - Such a renaissance man, but Sarah Silverman?
  
• News Regarding Our Kitty Overlords - You have nothing to fear from the good kitty, kitty, kitty.
  
• Houston, We Have A Problem - Now we know what the difference between Apollo number 1 and Apollo number II is. What the heck is Apollo XI though?
  
• The Twitter Lowdown - This is how Earl spends his time on Twitter.
  
• Sweet Empty Calories - A song parody. Lyrics only but you can just hear it in your head.


• The Worst of the Worst of the Worst, Sir! With Honors! - Bad, bad films. What's not to love?


• Thanksgiving Faux Pas - Things NOT to do at Thanksgiving. Repeat: NOT to do.
  
• The Luck of the Irish? - FIFA responds to Ireland's pleas for footballing justice.
  
• Christmas Faux Pas - Things NOT to do at Christmas. Listen, are you getting this? It's NOT to do. We're getting troubling reports.

* Not really. They couldn't be bothered to breakaway from their marathon game of canasta.
** Yes, 12. Deal with it. I realize there are quite a lot of my posts in there this year. Couldn't be helped, I'm afraid. Deal with it, again.

The Incredible Lobster Bisque!

According to one of Yahoo!'s* ever growing plethora of special issue sites, soup has amazing powers that we humans were heretofore unaware of. The most surprising revelations of the article?

• Soup can scale a 25 story building in under a minute flat.
• Cajun varieties of soup have been known to knock the hair off a grown man's chest and put it right back on again.
• Soup can't cure the common cold, but it can beat the crap out of it in a back alley.
• Soup has the strength of 10 stews. (Not Stew Miller. It only has the strength of four Stew Millers.)
• If you stare at beef broth long enough, you will see your reflection! (I was skeptical until I tried it. Amazing!)
• Soup can work out Pi to a trillion digits.
• Soup can grow a handlebar moustache. Vegetable soup is especially good at this.
• It's not surprising that fish soups can all breathe underwater. However, so can chicken soups!
• If you anger soup, it can scald you, choke you, and poke your eye with a straw.**
• Soup can heal a broken heart if you pour it in just the right place.
• Certain varieties of soup dumplings can be used as throw pillows.
• A tablespoon of soup can cover an entire dress shirt, if spilled in just the right way.*** (Most of you may have already had this experience.)
• Alphabet soup will communicate with you, if you stir it just right. (Most common message: "Please don't eat me!")

* The exclamation point is required to be included under international law.
** This depends on how you are eating the soup.
*** On the shirt.