On the Contrary, Nuffulupagus

Sadly, Nuffy's long stays in Nepal, Brunei, Kidderminster, and points east have fogged his once fantastic memory. I remember a time when Nuffy could recall exactly how many times John Cleese cleared his throat in the Anne Elk sketch (forty-seven, by my count) but now ask him the question and he goes off into some vague monologue about Lyndon LaRouche, Ross Perot, and a hovercraft.

So, I must clear up Nuffy's libelous reporting regarding my feud with George Takei. First, I ought to mention that I do a decent impersonation of Takei's voice (though not the one Mike Nelson tweeted about the other day, I should add). This is besides the point, except that it entertains Bill Shatner when I do the stoned version.

Second, I have had little to no personal dealings with Mr. Takei, except for the time I told him to take the Heroes gig. I told him it would be "a classic," so of course he's brassed off about that. What a disaster. There were no stabbings, but he did send me a greeting card.

I didn't attend Mr. Takei's wedding either. I watched the whole thing on closed circuit with Shatner. He played a drinking game where he took a shot of Grey Goose everytime the words "egocentric actor" came up in the ceremony. He was stone drunk inside of a quarter of an hour, and that was just the processional.

About the video, that was most definitely not me in the scene. For one thing, I'm a foot taller and my hair was much longer and frissier then.* (I used to run a balloon across it every morning for the static.) Also, I would have only been two years old at the time. Those might have been my jammies, though.

There were a few other odd things about that video. For one, Takei sweats a lot, doesn't he? You'd think someone had covered the man in Wesson. Also, did anyone notice that Sulu's sword was... well, bent. It looked like someone had been using it to jimmy the door of a Miata.

All this talk of Star Trek though reminds me of my two favourite episodes:

All Our Camelots



and Damn It, Jim, He's Only the Doctor

*Mrs. Fando likes it shorter now, so it doesn't get caught in the doors anymore.