A Serious Work of Art

Well, as much as I've enjoyed Nuffy's little cartoons, I think the new XTRANormal player should be dedicated to higher pursuits as well. So, in the interest of the cinema, art, and because Nuffy still refers to me as "Excremando," allow me to offer the following counter-programming to Nuffy's lighter, free-wheeling fare.

Obsessiones al Fando

For those of you following Bill Corbett's "Next Big Obsession" contest over at the RiffTrax blog, you'll know that Brit was the big winner with "rubbish waxworks" for $500 Alex... erm, Bill. Congratulations to Brit!

This means that I can now dwell upon my own obsession suggestions (unless there's some sort of copyright thingy that I was unaware of when I submitted my post) here, where all seven to twelve of you, per day, will scan over them quickly before popping off to Facebook or My Space.

My original suggestion is reprinted below, with a few revisions and extensions for the sake of surrealism.

**********

Bill,

3 suggestions:

1. The scary resemblance between David Hassellhoff and Dan Marino (possibly the same person). Our family often cannot tell them apart at all. During Marino's heyday with the Dolphins, I have frequently shouted at the telly, "Will someone bloody sack Knight Rider, already!"

2. Captain Beany (http://www.captainbeany.com/) because, well, how could you not be obsessed about such a character? (I mean, if you aren’t initially repulsed.)

NOTE: Admittedly, I have written on Captain Beany before. However, like beans themselves, you can never get enough.

3. Japanese Henshin Superheroes. (That’s “Henshin,” NOT “Hentai”). These guys make American superheroes look like well-adjusted bodybuilders in tights. You have to get beyond Power Rangers. Start with Rainbow Man for instance:

http://www.truveo.com/1972-Ai-No-Senshi-Rainbowman/id/1837093351

By now you realise that this is not the chap with the multi-coloured afro-wig who managed to score tickets to every major American sporting event between 1975-1987. That bloke was together compared to the schizophrenic Japanese version.

Also, that intro doesn’t even begin to hint at how wacked that program was (http://www.henshinhalloffame.com/rainbowman offers more evidence). Add the Kikaidas (motorcycle-riding, instrumentalist, androids with skull deformities), Kaiketsu Lion Maru (a lion/man samurai, of course...claws, sword, teeth...it's like the Tasmanian Devil with a katana), Denjin Zaboga (a robot who turned into a motorcycle* - which made for a creepy ride), and Diamond Eye (his eyes are diamonds… get it? Diamonds!) and you have a special** little world of it’s own.

The Henshin Hall of Fame has great details:
http://www.henshinhalloffame.com/

More to come on this. After all, these are obsessions.

* Yes, the Japanese obsession is motorcycles
* * and by special, I mean "mental."

Jorge and Cakey, together again forever

Cakey the Jacked-Up Clown is an actual person, believe it or not, who makes appearances, frightens people, embarrasses himself a lot, and performs at flea markets, county fairs and two-way petting zoos. I have teamed up with him to create a series of marvelously entertaining cartoons about the every day dealings of Cakey with his best friend and arch rival, Jorge Carlito Viejo. When you watch them, your heart will be mended by the joyous interplay of emotions and the subtle undercurrent of violence. Please bask in this:

Peanip Clowson's Greatest Speech

Very few of you had the chance to experience the most dynamic speech ever given by a presidential candidate in American history. It was a speech given by Pip Clowson at a bookstore just one month (give or take) before the election of '08. I want you to be able to have this shared human experience, so I have transcribed the entire speech in cartoon format. Please relive this seminal moment in the history of life on earth as an animated adventure from beyond the stars.

Everyone is Getting Better

So I have been getting flooded with e-mails and phone calls lately. People are saying unto me, "Nuffy Noe, you have begun to make me feel better about the crumbling economy and the terrible thousandfold tragedies being visited upon the earth." They say unto me, "Nuffy, I regret so much that I did not vote for Pip Clowson to be the President of the United States of America, but now I know that I can laugh my way all the way to the bottom of this sinkhole." You see how quickly things turn around when you simply introduce cartoons? Cartoons have a way of making the implosion of hope feel like a rainstorm of licorice whips and gum drops. As I see it, America is going to have exactly two choices in the coming months: cry as everything falls apart OR sit back with a fresh pan of cornbread muffins and a pint of cider and watch cartoons until the pain goes away.

I choose option number two.